I'm suddenly overwhelmed with envy and unwarranted hatred. The bitch is skinny! Just watching the commercials for the Victoria's Secret runway show helped me determine that it definitely would not be healthy for my self conscious state to watch the models flaunt their goddess like bodies today. I'm usually into self torture and pity, but this is just too much. They wear their wings as angels, but aren't cherubs angels too? Aren't cherubs supposed to be chubby? I could be a Victoria's Secret Cherub, an off brand for those who are pale, have hair that wont grow past their shoulders, and uh eat things out of vending machines and feel horrible for not working out every day. Yes, but unfortunately I fear the show wouldn't be as popular. Plus during the radio-ad voiceovers, there wouldn't be a woman with a sexy english accent. How about a thick Minnesotan accent? Uhh. I shudder at this entire scenario. I will work out (but I will not tan ever since my dream where my face skin was that of an alligator purse). Maybe I'll even do a few crunches tonight...maybe.
One year, I watched as cameramen went backstage after the show and one of the models said she always celebrated the end of another show by eating a donut.
I wonder if its worth it? A donut a year for that body. I answer: yes, yes I think it is. I want to be them, I want to be an angel, and I want to walk down an aisle smiling thinking "look at mah sexay self." I just don't have the self control.
mmm...donuts.
No comments:
Post a Comment