I've changed so much.

I've realized that I embrace the old me. What were once embarrassing characteristics are now something I shrug and smile about.

like, for example, my complete obsession with guinea pigs.

Growing up, I would try so hard to appear different from how I felt. I thought myself awkward and wanted to fit in (but really who doesn't at this age). I didn't have a close group of friends. I floated between sports groups and elementary buds, and well, it resulted in me not feeling sad to move on to college. Nothing was really here for me.

I know how creepy this looks (with the faces blackened), but I didn't want to post any pictures some people may not want up.

When I left for the university, I tried so hard to make friends because it was sort of like a two week alliance forming challenge. After that time was up you were on your own. People shut down and already had their chosen friends (after all, they too only knew high school rules). Oddly and wonderfully, I became friends with an old highschool aquaintance. We both changed together.

Moving off-campus, and introducing the bar scene, friends were made in new ways. Inhibitions were shed.

Now I've embraced being different because I've noticed how boring so many people are.

Anyways, there was a point to this post. It isn't to love yourself, because really you cant force any kind of love. Instead, it is to grow through travel and new experiences. Fight the definition of insanity, and try something different if you are unhappy. Or, imbrace a different definition of insanity, and refuse to care what other people think. The beginning of college was tough for me, but it was worth it. When my friends and I split up, I was sobbing like a freak (but remember that being a freak is good now). I've learned to trust and love and learn. I've learned to live with the mistakes I've made.

I wasn't aware of this growth until I've comeback to my old town. I can talk to anyone in my old life and realize just how wildly different I am from the last time I was here. I've learned that you don't have to try to be everybody's friend, because even having just one great one is a blessing.